Don't have sex - cause you will get pregnant, and die.

WHY
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME
I have a freaking headache again.

I refilled my bottle about 5 times today. Which amounts to about 5 litres of water.
Didn't finish the last litre though.

Kelly and Jenna should not be placed together. NUFF SAID.

As for whether I'm getting on fine with my school work, I'll give you one word. NO. First of all, for a freaking gay cert that says "A" (and I may not even necessarily secure it) I'm wasting so much time doing something I DON'T REMOTELY FEEL PASSION FOR. Makes me go "fuck you" like seriously. It was something I felt for until you said I'd be competing with 6 other people who are really good at it. I get it, my skill isn't good. But has it ever occurred to you that if I abhor it so much, I'd put in less effort?

Please pardon me for using vulgarities today because I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable up in my head. Contrary to popular belief, it's actually NOT empty. May be filled with junk and undesirable items but no, it has some substance in it.

Twinkle twinkle little star
Never wear skirt Ms Jessie Suah
Jenna never wear her bra
Andrea wants to eat mee suah
Twinkle twinkle little star
My tablet play until chao tar

And anyway, those obsessed with zebra crossings should disappear soon. Or at least stop their ridiculous nonsense. As Teryne said, we should just paint the entire road in black and white stripes. Solves the damn problem.

:(

I need a good head massage.

I'm kind of depressed, so I shall teach you how to be a coconut.

First of all, you must make sure that you are hairy and brown. This will ensure you look like a coconut. Alternatively, you can wrap yourself in a dirty old brown carpet. In that way, even though you don't look naturally like a coconut, at least you have the enthusiasm and the heart to be a coconut. Appearance will very much count towards your first impressions, and thus to be a coconut, you have to look like a coconut.

Next! Do you know how a coconut looks like when cut open? It's white, soft and creamy. We definitely know that we will not be white, soft and creamy when we're cut open. We'll be staining the floors a very much different color. So what can we do in that case? We can, of course, eat cotton pads. They are white, soft, but not creamy. So go ahead and spread some whipped cream on it. Stuff yourself with it.

Congrats! You're on your way to becoming a REAL COCONUT!

And of course, no coconut can call him/herself a coconut until he/she is hanging from A COCONUT TREE! Even if you can't find coconut trees near your house, you can make one. First, grab a long wooden stick. (it should be brown and sticky) Next, you can use your school flags, or whatever flags, that are green in color. Imagine the magnificent sight when the wind blowwwwsss.... You will have a flying coconut tree. Nextly, hang yourself onto it.

After which, you can wait for someone to come knock you down.

And make sure, your head is round enough. When tribal people need a bra, they will need 2 coconut halves to stick onto their boobs.

To attract fellow coconutmen or tribal people, spritz on the Coco Mademoiselle perfume.

SHAKE IT MAMA SHAKE IT!

I went to celebrate Annie's birthday at Swensens' with a whole bunch of funny people today :) But I will not elaborate anymore because I don't talk about daily events. Cannot be so inconsistent. But since when was I ever consistent? :P All I will say is that I missed the cookies and cream ice cream cake :( It looked damn nice.

My mom abducted all my makeup. A lot, not all. Because she has an event or something to attend.

And today I was wearing a gray dress which was indeed very short. It's shorter than my school skirt. And those of you who know, my skirt is not very long but I don't find it very short either :D But anyway the dress was short to the extent that Annie said, "Jenna! That's a very nice dress! But let me pull it down for you! *pulls back part down*... OK!"

And Jieying said to me, "why are you so crazy in school and now you're out and you look so glam?"
Me: I LOOK UNGLAM FOR YOU NOW! *does classic facecramp*

And then I realized that there were at least 5 people looking at me. Tsk.

Oh and while I was on the MRT, I saw this woman DIGGING STUFF OUT OF HER MOUTH! But even I, (wearing annoying braces) WILL NOT DO THAT ANYWHERE NEAR ANYONE! The only place I'd do that is in the bathroom! And I feel rather sick by just mentioning that to the rest of the world. But fine.

This woman was shamelessly getting food out of in-between her teeth. I think only a few poor souls witnessed the tragic event. Even with me GLARING straight at her with a disgusted expression, she happily continued.
I have a letter for her.

Dear lady,
.. no you shouldn't be called a lady. Dear... human in a female form, I could definitely understand if you were digging for gold. But you clearly weren't! I see no gold in that mouth of old! You weren't well-dressed, no doubt. But for an aunty, it was fine. Decent. Normal. But that behaviour was just uncalled for. Coupled with your highly arched eyebrows, it's no wonder why I'm so particular about eyebrows. I can decide how much I like a person based on her eyebrows! But that's only in the initial stages. Subsequently if she's a nice person, however her eyebrows are shaped I'd be pretty fine with it. If she isn't, if her eyebrows are WHAM BAM FANTASTIC, i'll just shave it all off for her. Or wax. That would produce a long-lasting effect.

But anyway, BACK TO YOU you food digger! I haven't changed the subject yet!

What the hell were you thinking when you stuck your fingers in your mouth? Did you PLAN? Did you figure what you were going to clean them on? YOUR CLOTHES? Or the MRT POLE!? Gosh, what have I BEEN TOUCHING?

You didn't even have the decency to be just a LITTLE discreet. You just dug as if you were doing charity work. If I don't see you donating to the tin cans that students often carry, YOU'D BETTER PULL ALL YOUR TEETH OUT SO YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO DIG! And besides, if you do donate to them, you'd better make sure your coins are untouched by dirty fingers. Nobody wants salivated coins.

Speaking of which, there's a stall in my school canteen selling economical rice and stuff like that. And if you're in my school, let this be a warning to you. I went up to order some food while the stall auntie was chewing on something. She was chewing something, and when she heard me, she spat the seeds out on her hand and proceeded to place my fishcake in a plastic bag. As much as my fishcake was untouched, it really made me wonder how they actually go through their cooking process. Think about it ok ;) That kind of lack of hygiene would not kill, but it's enough to put people off. I still buy from that stall no doubt, since it often has the shortest queue.

But anyway, BYE FOR NOW! I'm eating.

How the heck did I manage to blog about all this disgusting stuff while eating? I'm so queer :D